Zach Braff, will you be my friend?

Have you ever had a celebrity who you wanted to be friends with? And I don't mean like the perennial way that I wanna be "friends" with Natalie Portman, and not to get all Champ here but I mean like a same sex friend/buddy thing. I guess it could be a member of the opposite sex but for guys that's just impossible. Yeah, I'm gonna hang out with Lindsay Lohan. Right. And as we know, men and women can't be friends because the sex thing always gets in the way. Anyways, back to the main topic. There are lots of celebrities that are cool. I mean, any of the "frat pack" would be a blast to hang out it but I'm not really like any of those guys. I've said before that Adam Brody seems like a cool guy but then again I don't know Brody, I know more Seth Cohen. Bill Simmons is my favorite blogger and columnist but he is a little out of my age range and Brad Pitt? Yeah. I am so much in love with Zach Braff's snake tattoo that he got last year. All of the above brings me to my link of the day. As your resident blogger I have promised to be your "link" to the internet and show you the coolest stuff I find. Anyways, my favorite random-topic blog is definitely Zach Braff's blog. Never before has a celebrity revealed so much about himself that we both did and did not want to know. I feel like I actually know him. I am most definitely a fan and if there is one single celebrity that I can relate to and wanna hang out with it's Zach Braff (or ZB as his pals call him and although I'm not per se a chum, yet, I'm gonna call him this for convenience purposes). My question is, how the hell do I become friends with Zach Braff? It's tough. I can't just go out and find him and be like, "Hey, ZB, wassup, wanna get a beer or something?" Yeah, it doesn't work like that for a myriad of reasons. People leave thousands of comments on his blog and I really do think he tries to read them but what makes my comment more special than Joe Schmo's? Can I send him an email? Snail mail? Like he doesn't got thousands of fan letters every week. This reminds me of the time junior year when i was OBSESSED with Lindsay Lohan and Jacob Bower-Bir told me she was from Utah (straight up lie) and I was determined to find her during our nationals trip to Salt Like City. Yeah, it didn't go so well. Didn't find her. (If I did though, I think I could have a shot with her. I mean Fez aka Wilmer Valderamma was her boyfriend for a while and I not only look like him but I'm also cuter, handsomer, AND smarter. Yeah. I'm pretty much the complete package. Semi-Narcissitic ego comes with package.) Jesus Christ, do I have like a man-crush on Zach Braff? That is pretty weird. Oh well. Whatever it is, I just think we could be real good friends. He just seems like a real cool guy that I think I could really get along with. I know it might seem like I might be thinking of J.D. here (ZB's character on Scrubs, my second most favorite tv show right now) but I really am not. I've read his blog and I've seen him live on talk shows...he seems like a genuine nice guy. I think it's a coincidence that he is like J.D. in many ways. In reality it's probably him rubbing off on J.D. Anyways, it would be real cool if I could be friends with ZB but it's not looking good overall...oh well. Consider this my one plea: Zach Braff, will you be my friend?